SP - In the absence of coffee

In the absence of coffee

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While the world is going crazy,
While the sky is falling down,
One thing you can depend on,
I will always be around.
While the rain outside is pouring,
I will make the sun shine through,
While the world is going crazy,
You can count on me.
I'll be loving you.
All you do is call.
I will catch you if you fall.

While the world is going crazy by Boyzone.

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All the way back he had thought about how to break the news to his boyfriend.
All the way back from the neighbouring town of Middle Park, in the dark, listening to Radiohead and willing the heap of rust that was his car not to die out on him a second time in as many days.
He was grateful to have made it back without having to ditch the poor excuse for transport and walk in the snow but at the same time, he could think of places he would rather be than home and having to break the bad news to...

“Craig! Thank God you’re back! I was worried something might have happened, you’ve been gone forever!” Craig smiled as he closed the door, hanging his coat by the door and receiving an enthusiastic hug from the blonde – in high spirits at the promise of his precious caffeine that was to come... “No bag?” He asked, pulling away from the brunette and frowning.

“They were out of coffee.” He settled on – true and to the point. Tweek blinked up at him, hands falling from Craig to rest at his own sides, simply processing that information for a moment before the frown returned.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” Came his reply, tone flat, almost annoyed.

“I wouldn’t joke about something like that, would I?” Tweek gave him a look causing Craig to roll his eyes. “Not twice. Not after last time’s ‘freak out’.” He emphasized the word freak out by holding his hands up and shaking them about his ears. God, that had not been the punch line he had been expecting to that particular joke.

“You promise?” Craig nodded, kicking off his shoes and making his way in to the room now Tweek was not keeping him at the door. It was warmer, at least, but something about the sight of his boyfriend sat on the sofa, one leg curled up under himself and fingers working at the fabric of his shirt as if there was a way to summon a Genie there or something. Genie of the coffee pot, he thought, and had to work hard to suppress a smile.

“Yes, I even drove to fucking Middle Park but the store was closed by the time I got there.” He sighed, falling down into the sofa beside his boyfriend who appeared to be in the early stages of an all out panic attack.

“S-so you mean...” The brunette nodded, not seeing the point in making the other say those dreaded words.

“Sorry.” He told him, wanting to pull the other into a hug but knowing that would do little good – when Tweek was severely caffeine deprived, little did. “I can call Ruby if you’re really that desperate, but...” The blonde shook his head after a minute or two – Ruby was away at college, not out of state but a good half an hours’ drive there and back and Craig had already driven all around their town and the next one over. He could call his own family, his parents, but it was late and his father would only metaphor him to death.... What was worse? He wondered; No coffee or the metaphors? Certainly he could not take the metaphors without the coffee. He sighed, crawling over to his boyfriend’s side of the sofa and resting his head in his lap. Being close to Craig calmed him a little, at least, took the edge off. Like some sort of weak caffeine substitute...

~*~

~Third grade~

“Hey, Tweek?” The dark-haired kid in the bed next to the blondes’ called. It was too quiet, he decided. Too quiet and definitely too fucking dull to bare a grudge on the jittery kid who had been tricked into this just the same as he had. This feeling doubled with the knowledge that he really was his only source of company right now anyway.

“What?” The other snapped back, obviously not sharing the sentiment of the others’ reasoning, causing him to flip him off.

“Christ, you don’t have to be so pissy.” He muttered, clearly annoyed, causing the blonde to let out a sharp laugh, finally turning in his own bed to look over to the other kid, an almost-glare on his face.

“I don’t? It’s your fault I’m stuck here!” His almost-glare matched now with a full one from Craig when he turned too, his being the far more threatening of the two.

“You and me both, asshole.” He pointed out, that enough to wipe the look from Tweek effectively enough, the blonde sighing a little at the realization, hanging his head and letting his hands busy themselves with the sheet that covered him.

“...Yeah, I suppose.” He conceded, Craig’s expression softening at the admission, sending him back to square one of his original point.

“Sorry.” He said.

“Yeah, me too.” Tweek agreed. It was silly really, and not Craig’s fault after all so he might as well just give it up and have someone to talk to for however long it was the two of them would be stuck in this crappy hospital room together. And Craig did not seem that bad, he had said sorry and he was grinning quite happily for the time being at least...

“You fight pretty good, you know.” The dark-haired boy said, grin still in place, very obviously impressed. “Almost had me there a couple of times.” He added, chuckling slightly as the blonde smiled back.

“You were pretty good yourself, Craig.” He told him, returning the compliment and meaning it. Neither of them had won but it was not like they had exactly lost either. Maybe in truth they both had, ending up here, but at least not to each other.

“Know what we should do?” He asked, warming to the jittery blonde pretty fast now. He had heard rumours about this kid before, all sorts of random things, but Craig preferred not to pay such things much attention. He was a good fighter, pretty cool to talk to, that was plenty good enough for him.

“W-what?” Tweek asked, voice coming out as a strangled sort of whine, not sure he liked where-ever the other boy as going with this.

“Join forces, man. Teach those lying assholes a lesson.” He smirked then, and Tweek thought he would remember that look the rest of his life – the very first Craig Cramer patented smirk. “Or five.” The blondes’ eyes went wide at the idea of even more fighting, that did not sound smart to him but as he continued to stare a while, he became a little disturbed at how he was already thinking about the offer despite the sickening feeling the thought had originally thrown over him. Craig could be rather persuasive, it would seem...

“Think we could?” He asked, careful not to actually agree with anything just yet, being cautious never killed anyone, after all, and if it had, he was sure fighting had killed far more.

“Totally! You don’t?” Smiling broadly now and yes, that expression was less nerve-wracking, a little more... nice, he supposed. He nodded slowly, they were friends now, right? Friends were supposed to agree with each other, were they not...?

“...I guess...” Craig grinned at his new friend, that was a good enough yes for him. He reaching for the remote which controlled the single TV hooked up between the two beds, turning it on and flipping through the channels until the theme music of his most loved show filled the room. Only then did he turn to Tweek.

“You like Red Racer, right?” Tweek simply nodded, he got the feeling that was not a question he could say no to. Although if he had realized then just how much that small lie would have affected his future, having to watch that show every time he went to Craig’s after school or when Craig to his, actually, he may have risked it...

~*~

“It’s okay, I’ll do without tonight, I’m sure I can... manage one... night...” His words became jumpy as he went on, a realization hitting him, causing him to suddenly jump up, grabbing at the front of Craig’s shirt, eyes worried and wild as he stared into those calm sapphire orbs of his boyfriends’. “Jesus Craig! What if they don’t get any in until after I gotta go to work tomorrow?! I can’t go to work without my coffee, man! I can’t!” Craig sighed, here we go again~

“They said it would be coming in on the morning delivery, I’ll get up early and go down the store for you, okay?” He told the now shaking blonde, hugging him for a moment, rocking him back and forth as he had learnt helped to calm him from such attacks of panic over the years, before moving back, placing a kiss on the bridge of his nose. “And maybe I can find a way or two to distract you in the meantime, hmm?” He asked with a smirk. Tweek smiled up at him shyly, nodding, already feeling better. Craig was a lot of things; Crude, quick to anger, insistent, perverted, brutally honest, sarcastic... strong, caring, loving, generous, fun, persuasive... Tweek’s smile widened as his own mental list went from his less necessary characteristics to some of his best, he could go on forever listing those. One of Tweek’s favourites though, he was indeed very distracting~

“Mmmm~” He agreed easily, leaning up to meet his boyfriends’ lips halfway, moving against the others’ as he felt Craig shift slightly, his hands trailing down his back and searching their way under his perpetually unevenly buttoned shirt, hands caressing bare skin, causing a whiny moan to rise from him, Craig taking advantage of the situation, sliding his tongue into the blondes’ mouth and pulling him down on the sofa on top of himself...

~*~

~Eighth grade~

“You’re my best friend, you know that, right, Tweek?” Tweek blinked at his friend for a moment, that look on his face almost desperate and not something he remembered ever seeing from Craig before, that was more than enough for the blonde to understand, nodding to him, smiling slightly and believing his words without question.

“Yeah, I know.” He told him honestly, turning back to the video game they had been playing, sensing one of Craig’s random heart-to-hearts in the making, pausing the game before adding; “You’re mine too.” When he looked back, the dark-haired teen was smiling.

“Thanks.” He replied, sounding both happy and sad at the same time, causing Tweek to frown.

“What for?” He asked, not understanding why a thank you was needed anymore than one coming from Craig was rather rare in a casual conversation like this one. And since when did you say thank you for someone being your friend anyway? Craig really confused Tweek some times...

“Well, you know, friend stuff, I guess.” He almost muttered, adding a shrug at the end and now looking anywhere but to his self-proclaimed best friend.

“You don’t have to thank me for that.” He told him. “I like being your friend.” This revelation seemed to surprise Craig enough to look up, eyes questioning when their gaze met Tweek’s who simply smiled. “And anyway, I should be thanking you if we’re going to talk about this.” Craig really did not understand that last part. Thank him? That was beyond insane. What had he ever done to be worth thanking for? Even in friendship he was pretty sure he did not fit the bill properly...

“Why? What did I do?” Those words along with that look made Tweek sad in a way that almost hurt because he knew that Craig really did not get it. Really did not see any of the good things he had bought to the blondes’ life simply by being in it, like a best friend should.

“Same thing.” He replied finally, dismissing anything else that came to mind as too gay. He smiled that shy little smile he only ever used when he really wanted to smile, the result making Craig smile too. “Friend stuff, I guess.” He added, stealing the others’ words rather effectively, he thought.

“Really, thanks man.” He said, then chuckled lightly, contemplating whether to turn his current thoughts into words or if to just leave at that. “Sounds gay, but it means a lot after... You know.” Tweek simply nodded, he knew.

“Not like you wouldn’t do the same for me.” He paused, he could recall more than a few times when the other had, in fact, done just that. “Not like you haven’t, actually.” Craig shrugged, as if anything coming from him would not be a big enough deal to bother mentioning although this certainly seemed to be the blonde’s understanding on the subject.

“Comes with the job description, Tweeky.” He said instead, expecting it to be left at that. Maybe when he had bought up the subject he had wanted to talk about whatever, but that idea was appealing less and less every time Tweek gave him a compliment – he was not good at taking compliments with grace, from his ‘best friend’ or anyone else.

“Maybe.” Tweek muttered, causing a frown from the brunette.

“Hmm?” He asked, suddenly curious to get their talk back on track again.

“I would probably say running all the way to my house at five in the morning because of some stupid dream was going a little beyond the call of duty, Craig.” The other teen simply shrugged a ‘no big deal’ and that was what Tweek liked best about Craig – he believed that. Sure, he had a reputation, sure he got himself and anyone who was unlucky enough to get caught up in the madness he created into trouble but once you got past that, he would not think twice about doing anything he could to make you smile.

“I wouldn’t.” He replied, draping an arm around the blondes’ shoulder, grinning wildly, like he always did, but with that look that Tweek knew all too well – the look that said he was hiding something – but he knew that too. So did Craig. “Besides, you’ve done it for me before.” He hugged him, a manly-one-armed-Craig hug, then took back his arm and motioned to the TV. “We gonna play this game or not?”

~*~

“Ice cream!” Tweek suddenly yelled, causing Craig to pull back out of their rather heated kissing and stare at him, confused.

“Huh?!” He asked, as intelligently as he could manage given the current situation. He was pretty sure if his boyfriend was to be calling out for anything, it should not be the word ‘ice cream’...

“We have coffee ice cream!” Tweek grinned, already untangled from the other and practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to get to the kitchen. “It’s not the same, not nearly as much caffeine, but it’ll do!” Craig sighed, pulling himself up to sit back on the sofa – he had hoped his boyfriend would not remember that...

“Nice while it lasted~” He muttered, not really caring, he could pick up where they left off later. In fact, he made a note to make that a certainty. Smiling dutifully when Tweek returned with the carton of ice cream, a little on the empty side of half-full, handing the brunette a spoon before digging in himself.

“Mmmm, so good~” He sighed happily, leaning back on the sofa and letting his eyes close as he savoured the taste of the cold, bitter treat and felt that familiar boost of caffeine begin to jolt through his veins. “God, I needed that.” He almost moaned, remaining that way for a further few minutes before happily digging in again while Craig looked on, expression somewhere between amused and hurt that the ice cream was getting more appreciation than he ever did. Eventually, he shook his head and gave in, filling his own spoon and taking a mouthful himself.

After all, the sooner the ice cream was all gone? The sooner they could go to bed...

~*~

~Twelfth grade~

“Hey Craig?” Tweek called quietly to the other teen as he sat on the floor of his own bedroom, leaning up against the bed Tweek was laying on, reading a magazine. “C-can I t-tell you something?” He asked, just as quietly, moving his way over to the edge of the bed, looking over the slightly older teens’ shoulder as he continued reading.

“Hmm?” Tweek hated it when Craig replied with that, it made him feel like he was not being listened too and what he wanted to say today was important. He pulled the motorcycle magazine the other teen was looking through so intently away, getting flipped off and scowled at for his troubles. “Fuck man, what?” He asked, Tweek certainly had his attention now so he might as well say it.

“I love you.” He said simply, because he did and Craig should know. They had been half-seeing each other for a few months now, nothing heavy, nothing people really knew about, but dating, more-or-less. It had started off as curiosity, they had talked about a few things, like teenage boys did. About girls and kissing and sex and how the first of those three had never really appealed to either of them. Tweek had been surprised to hear that from Craig, in his normal ‘who cares, no big deal’ sort of way and had been even more so when the other had suggested maybe they should give it a go, the kissing part at least. Finding out how they both felt about that had taken all of five minutes and lasted almost an hour.

“You what?” Craig asked, turning to look at the blonde more closely now, frowning a sort of uncomprehending expression that told the other teen maybe he should not have been quite so blunt with his words and feelings as he had been.

“I-I said, I l-love you.” He repeated, not nearly as sure with his words this time. Craig would never hate him, he knew that, he could never have said those words to anyone else even if he had fallen in love with them but Craig – Craig was different. He nodded, look fading from his face as he swiped back his magazine and turned back to his original plan to sit and read.

“I thought you did.” Tweek blinked now, confused as to how he was supposed to take that reaction. Little did he know that the other teen was using the magazine to cover up an almost face-breaking grin at the others’ words, even more so because he had said them first. That meant a lot to someone like Craig – ‘me too’ and ‘I agree’ never seemed to feel the same way as being told simply first. A ‘self worth’ issue Tweek told him, something he was always trying to get him to realize was stupid – to him at least. Tweek had always looked up to Craig and with all the reasons in the world the brunette still did not get why.

“Well?” The blonde asked finally when he could not stand the silence any longer.

“Well what?” Craig asked right back, trying to keep the chuckle from his voice as he spoke, hearing that he had but having no idea at all how.

“Well what do you think, Christ!” The mixed panic and annoyance and just over-all cuteness in Tweek’s tone at that sent the other into a fit of laughter, throwing down the magazine himself this time, turning to the bed where Tweek was now kneeling and kneeling himself on the floor, hands on the blondes’ legs and smiling up to him with that brilliant yet slightly arrogant smile.

“I love you too, retard.” He said when he remembered how to breathe again, pushing himself up to capture the blondes’ lips in a gentle kiss, letting the other process his words while he took complete advantage of his surprise to deepen the kiss, drawing the other in for a moment before he pulled back, giving Craig another confused look.

“Wait, what?” He asked, getting another fit of laughter from the object of his affections, that earning the brunette a glare before Tweek pushed him back hard, sending him sprawling on his back and laughing even more than before. “Why the hell did you give me a heart attack for then?!” He tried to shout, tried to sound hurt and annoyed but only managed relieved and ever so slightly amused at the others antics, shaking his head and getting down from the bed to join Craig and make sure he remembered how to breathe in all his over-amused excitement. When Craig did something, he did not do it half-way, Tweek had to give him that, it made him smile, offering him a hand to pull him up.

“Because... you’re too... cute when you... freak... out.” The other managed between laughs, gasping for breath now at his oh-so-funny joke, taking Tweek’s hand, only to have him help him half-way up and drop him again, this time the blonde flipping Craig off – something that only made him laugh harder as he landed back on the floor.

“I take it back.” Tweek said, sulkily. “I hate you, Craig.” He pouted and Craig, God! That made him want to laugh more, but somehow he fought it, calming himself as best he could with deep, uneven breaths until he could think straight again, pulling himself up this time with the help of the Tweek’s desk, making his way over to the pouting blonde, wrapping his arms around him tightly, laughter completely died down now.

“Oh, you do not.” He told him happily, the smile in his voice easy to pick up and causing Tweek to forgive the little joke, moving to return the others’ hug, smiling himself again, letting himself melt into Craig’s arms. “Okay now,” he whispered, “let’s try that again, this time without some asshole ruining the moment, alright?” Tweek’s smile widened at that, nodding against Craig’s chest. “I love you.” He told him, pulling back a little to smile down at Tweek, his now love, taking in every detail as he smiled back up at him, so sweetly.

“I love you too.”

~*~

Bright and early, a little after six am, Craig got out of the shower, dried himself off, pulling on his underwear then a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt, making his way back into his bedroom to see Tweek still fast asleep and unable not to smile at the thought that came to him – if the blonde would do anything for coffee and the brunette would do anything for the blonde, in some round-about-way he would do anything for coffee too. He shook his head at that.

“There are worse things, I suppose.” He muttered, taking one last look at his very own sleeping beauty before making his way down the stairs, collecting his keys and wallet on the way, adding a coat and shoes to the clothes he already wore at the door, and finally leaving the house.

God! It was fucking freezing! And the old heap of a car had no such thing as heating, that and it was covered with ice. Craig sighed, opening the door and searching the glove box for the scraper so that he might actually be able to see where he was going. Why the hell am I doing this again?

Because he needed the coffee, you see. Whether it was actually he who would drink it or not. He shook his head, working at the windshield, shaving off the ice in big flakes, his fingers turning a purple colour in the cold.

Addiction was weird like that.

So was love.